This is what it feels like . Feeling alone even though you are with the people you love , is it a weird feeling or is it just an ordinary thing ?  

Worst Lunch I have ever attended , felt like I could be gone without a care that anyone would have .

It's fine though , I am strong , I definitely have gone through much worse than that , I could keep my tears or pain in to be exact .

It's become more of a habit now .

Just smile , act like you are fine with everything when in fact you want to know the answers to all the questions that are running through your mind or maybe you just want to stay oblivious to everything and just disappear .

I have always been like this , once I let my feelings out and especially on paper or a laptop in this case , I don't ever stop .

I could write thousands of pages about my feelings and never truly stop because it's after all emotions so really it is just uncontrollable to not express it all and try to conclude it .

You simply can't do that and you will never be able to .

Why is it that I feel that I mean nothing ? Why do I get this feeling ? It hurts to see it happening .

I know that I am not the only one that feels like this , I just wonder somehow why us , the ones that actually feel this way , why us ?

Why couldn't we be the ones that are so confident , so happy , the one that don't care , the ones that don't feel like they need to disappear , the ones that don't ever get lonely , the ones that never think way too much of what they are supposed to do instead of just doing it ?

I never found the answer to that .

But Today , out of nowhere , I found it .

Because simply there is no one that doesn't feel like this .