What I want to be ?
January 17, 2016
They say that once you get out of your comfort zone, that is when you experience the unexpected. I have never really understood that because I always thought that I was already free. Free to explore and live my dreams instead of having them caged away in the back of my head .
But I was wrong , for my dreams were truly victims . Victims of my own fear of what the outside world is like . Curiosity ate the best of me and just like any sane human being would do , I wanted to achieve them , even the impossible ones out of them but the first step that I have to take in order to do so is to build myself up from scratch in a new place with a fresh start , and what better place to do so other than the United Kingdom that is filled with opportunities to help make my dreams a reality .
My story starts with me being the new girl at a new school in grade 5. I didn’t know anybody and I didn’t even want to . They seemed a bit snobby and full of themselves which is the complete opposite of who I am . Luckily one of my best friends was with me in this enormous school so I wasn’t completely alone but I always felt like I was whenever I go to my classes and get weird looks . Day after day I started making friends and I learnt to simply adjust to my new atmosphere . My biggest problem was that some teachers underestimated me because I didn’t move from a well-known school . That annoyed me to a whole new extent and gave me the motivation to prove them wrong . My mother thought that I wouldn't be able to do it , but I did . I remember the change in my teachers' face expressions once they saw that I got As in all my classes . They finally noticed me . And years after years I would welcome every start of a new school year with a new teacher that says the same exact thing , " You are quite talked about in the teachers' room ." . It wasn’t easy to get to this level and sometimes I failed at bringing my best but when I set my goals right , I always give it my all to make it happen . Most of the times there were some disappointments but I would pick myself up every time , I was never a quitter .
Throughout the years , my only problem was English . I would get the least mark in it , I just didn’t understand it at first . I thought it was just a class I have to survive each day in order to pass . All I wanted at first was to never study it again , to save myself the hard work . But that didn’t happen , in fact , the exact opposite did . As I grew up , I would watch kids to teenagers blessed with special talents from playing the piano to doing ballet , and I had nothing until one day I came across a library , I felt like it was drawing me to it as if it was pulling me closer and I had no choice but to enter a world I never came out from and I never want to . Books soon were my addiction and Writing became more of a passion than a hobby . I don’t know the exact time I started to write to let go of my emotions , because I can't seem to remember a time where I didn’t have a paper and a pen with me . English became the only class that I enjoyed the most , every time we had a writing exam , my teacher would struggle to take the paper from me because I couldn’t stop even if it was the lamest of topics , I would somehow find a way to make it interesting .I later on heard that Literature and Creative Writing was actually a major , it confused me a little bit when I heard because I already had my mind set up that I wanted to study either Genetics or Neuroscience .
The reason behind my choice of study was that whilst growing up , the hospital was my favorite place to go even though the worst of things occur there but it was magical to me . I was always so intrigued by all the different equipment and machines . Most children would be scared of going to the doctor's , I wasn’t . In fact , I would look forward to going there so I could steal anything I could get my hands on . That is why Biology and Chemistry weren’t an issue in school . Everyone thought that it was boring and useless to study Medicine or any section of it just for the sole reason that It is apparently a waste of time. They tried to convince me to not study it at all , to find another major but I couldn’t . I already lost the chance of applying to study Surgery because time wasn’t my friend . But that didn’t stop me from wanting to study other interesting majors in the same field . I always told my mother that my love for Medicine in general will never stop . I wanted to satisfy my needs to see the inside of a living miracle , that is us , humans . I wanted to see how each organ works so perfectly But most importantly I wanted to be a helping hand in saving someone's life .
These two interests of mine gave me the power to do the most terrifying thing that none of my classmates would do when they apply to a college which is to study a double major . It is a risk , I know that but I just can't let go of any one of them . They are part of who I want to be .
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