It has been so long since I last wrote something and it is so weird , it is as if I don't feel like myself anymore and I guess that's normal because writing is part of who I am . 

I thought maybe it was time for me to come back to reality and express all my feelings on here after all this is a blog for you to benefit from , right ? and who knows maybe my experiences could give you some sort of a lesson , hopefully . 

Firstly , I am a college student now ! Yay ! It has been about two months since I started college and I am not going to lie , It has been hard emotionally and physically . But sometimes the people you meet , the real ones especially , make it better . It is like they make you forget that you have three assignments to give and a pop-quiz the next day . I am in a dorm room with one of my high school friends , we share a kitchen with two other girls and let me tell you all about my experience with these three roommates . We bonded on the first night we were in the dorms , we stayed up till midnight , laughing and talking about literally anything you can think about. Which to be honest , was weird to all of us . We got along so well that people didn't believe that we actually didn't know one another before . Girls on campus would envy us for getting along and never being apart . It was nice to know that you have people to trust , we were all different from one another but spent every meal laughing our arses off and it was the best thing ever . We already have our own inside jokes and we are already comfortable in front of each other . I trust these girls , I don't know why and how I managed to trust them this fast but I know that If I ever feel down or depressed , they are always there , they care . We have had small fights here and there but I guess it is completely normal , after all , we are living together , we are going to have these types of break downs and fights every now and then but what is more important is that we deal with them the right way after all we are four people with different personalities and attitudes and all we need to do is slowly accept one another and try to understand each other and I think that we are slowly learning to do that . But definitely not learning how to cook anything yet !  

Secondly , college is so different from school but somehow similar . For instance , your doctors don't care if you give in your assignment or not , they don't care if you give attention or not , it is your own responsibility not theirs but they still get upset if you show disrespect to their lecture just like any high-school teacher . Yet High-school teachers sort of care , like I remember how friendly I was with my teachers , they would joke around with us , well some of them but they really cared for us , you know ? I mean , come on , you had to have had a teacher you absolutely adored back in High-school ! Other than that is that college doctors are not easy on you even if you're a freshmen , if you want to pass then freaking work to make it happen ! In high-school you might have gotten quizzes from things that are exactly taken from the books , in college if you don't write notes down after the doctor in the lecture , you are screwed because trust me when I say the doctor will literally bring 90% of what he said in the lecture in his exams so you better attend each lecture and pay attention . High-school and college have that thing in common , you need to study to pass them . But in college , you feel more independent , like you have finally kind of grown up and especially if you are living in the dorms , you can't depend on your parents anymore like you used to do in High-school , they won't be there to help you with every bad thing you go through . Add to that the fact that you aren't around the same people you saw every single year for the past years of your high-school life , you are in a completely new place surrounded by hundreds of people you don't know at all . You can literally meet so many people that you start forgetting their names , which is something I never thought I would go through because I am not the type of person that forgets someone's name , I find it kind of rude but like I meet so many people , I can't keep up and some look really alike or dress alike , I don't know , it's hard sometimes and especially when someone remembers you and you don't ! College is more strict , they won't go easy on you if you go against the rules , they can easily take away your future so make sure you behave with your doctors or they can give you a hard time each lecture just because of one little problem you had with them . It actually happened with me , I had a bit of a problem with my histology lab doctor during our quiz and she literally hates me , she finds something wrong with everything I do in the lab and to be honest It got to me at first , I literally have anxiety whenever I go to her lab which is thankfully only once a week . But now I don't let her get to me , I am as nice as I can when I am in her lab because I want to let her know that I care about my lab score not about her attitude with me , I try to show her that I am doing the best at everything she gives us to do so she won't have anything to hold against me and I think it's working . They tell you that all you got to do is pass through college and have the time of your life during that stage in your life and that is so true but to me , I like to prove myself to doctors that think no one can get a high score in their courses , I don't know why but I feel like they are challenging me and I just love to prove them wrong , to see their surprised and impressed faces when they see my score and so far I managed to do that and hopefully I will continue on doing that . But I don't want to give up my life just to study all day , no , I want to enjoy college at every chance I get , I want to go to events and concerts , I want to go out with my friends and have the best time of my life . I know that college holds my future but that doesn't mean that I need to tire myself up for it . Mum always told me that college is the time of self-realization and adventures as well as new experiences . I don't want to give that up . 

Thirdly which is the most important thing that I will probably write in this post . 

Sometimes you don't get to have what you want , you don't get to study what you want or go to the university you want and that by itself can break you especially if you had high dreams of what you wanted to be and they were all taken away from you so easily , you will have multiple break-downs thinking why am I here ? I don't want to be here ! I don't want to study this ! Why do I need to go along with this ? You might find yourself thinking all about that in the middle of a lecture , you might find yourself keeping a straight face when you're breaking down from the inside . You might find yourself crying in the middle of the night , you might blame so many people that weren't the reason behind everything that happened , you might lose yourself or lose something that was part of you , like writing for instance ... You might find yourself smiling one day then get an email from your dream university that you rejected and find yourself depressed the next day , people will find you rather silly for caring so much for what you want to be but trust me when I say they are the silly ones for thinking that . There will be days when you look around and think , What did I do to not deserve to live a dream of my own ? But you need to learn something .... Sometimes we don't get to have what we want and it's not because we don't deserve it , it's simply because life stands in the way of what we want and maybe because the path that is planned for us now is better than the one we wanted and sometimes we need to accept our reality and deal with it , because who knows ? Maybe now wasn't the right time for you to make your dream come true , maybe things would be much better if you wait for the right time when everything you ever dreamed of would become a reality of your own with nothing standing up against you . All I want to say is that , always trust your faith and destiny because there is always a reason behind what was destined for you , maybe it teaches you a lesson or make you meet new people that are going to change your life for the better or maybe give you a whole new aspect of life .

Sometimes ...

All you need is Acceptance to truly get over something that couldn't be yours . 

" Time doesn't heal everything but acceptance will heal everything " - Tumblr

" Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune " - William James .